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Today Only!

It's Cyber Monday, which means that every store where you've ever shopped online has just spammed your inbox. It occurs to me that the reason this family can't come up with anything to gift each other is because we just buy for ourselves the tools/socks/video games that we need. I am shopping for over-the-knee boots today. I saw quite a few people wearing them in NYC, so it looks like the ankle bootie trend is (finally) over. Chip bought himself a new rfid-protected wallet which would actually be a really good gift for someone. If I'd known he needed it. Or what one was.

Other items on my list:

1. Cam Jordan color rush Saints jersey

So far, I can only seem to find Marshon Lattimore, Alvin Kamara and Adrian Peterson. The good news is, if you're looking for an AP Saints jersey, those are marked way, way down.

2. Instapot

I've been thinking about this for a long time. Do you have one? Please advise. I'm still on the fence. I'm not sure how much I would use it and space is at a premium in my one-butt kitchen.

3. One of those hair dryers with the attached paddle brush for doing your own blowouts

I have never, ever been able to blowout my own hair. But this might work?

I guess last night the holiday spirit bit Chip, too. He decided to put on some Christmas music and play that fireplace video on the TV when we went to bed. Which was festive af but not really conducive to sleep for me. I need the television on to go to sleep. I have to have something to actively listen to, otherwise my brain just runs around in circles like a hyperactive puppy chasing its tail.

"Alexa, play some Christmas music," he said (because he doesn't know you can just tell her to play my playlist). For the next hour and a half, I laid in the dark while a fireplace popped above my dresser and my brain played what I like to call Classic Christmas Carol Jeopardy.

Alexa: I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus...

Brain: Who is Michael Jackson!

Alexa: Santa Baby, slip a sable under the tree for me...

Brain: Who is Eartha Kitt!

Alexa: Frosty the Snowman, was a jolly happy soul...

Brain: Who is Jimmy Durante!

I hope your online shopping brings you just what you wanted. Remember, only give your credit card number to legitimate stores. I actually did find one place with a Jordan jersey but Chip said it was a scam site and not to give them my credit card. Which makes sense, I guess, because if Cam Jordan color rush jerseys were available, the NFL shop would have them.

Also, my company proudly makes one in three Amazon boxes so shop on! Just don't forget to recycle your cardboard.

And...if just the term "Cyber Monday" makes you worry that all the Amazon boxes are going to rise up in an Asimov-esque takeover of humanity, then definitely do not watch this video.

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